Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Feeling a connection

There are many kinds of love.
Some sweet; romantic love, generous love,
friendship love, puppy love, maternal love,
soul-mate love, self-love...

Some not: selfish love, conditional love,
 superficial love, empty love, possessive love...

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit,
and that's what everyone wants.
But a true soul mate is a mirror,
the person who shows you everything
that is holding you back...

A true soul mate is probably the most important person
you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls
and smack you awake...
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up,
 tear apart your ego a little bit,
show you your obstacles...
break your heart open so new light can get in...”  
Elizabeth Gilbert,      

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Giving to others

It's imperative to lead with our hearts...
in whatever way we contribute to the world.
This translates into healing old wounds.
Unfinished hurts = a broken heart.
Without resolution, there is no balance.
You either will give too much or too little.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive,
and love without power is sentimental and anemic".
Martin Luther King Jr.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Cultivating genuine relationships

What are the ingredients to a lasting relationship? 
Is your heart open? How well do you love others?
You need self-esteem. Unworthiness is a saboteur.

When it comes to relationships, I've had some lessons in the past where there's been fingers pointing at me. I in turn, spent too much energy trying to figure out what I did I failed the other person. It has sent me spiraling more than once into a pool of self-doubt. Because I could never get a clear picture of myself, and I still believed the old messages that were carelessly handed to me as a child, I put too much stock in the opinions of others when I shouldn't have. So the most shocking thing I've come to learn about myself recently is that I already possess the most important qualities of someone who loves well: honesty, patience, kindness, loyalty, protectiveness, trustworthiness, the ability to endure any disagreements, and a forgiving nature.

I can't take credit for these qualities though. As a little girl, my grandparents, aunts, and uncles were generous with their love. At home, I felt stifled and unsafe. But with them, I felt safe and accepted. Not once can I remember them shaming, judging, or betraying me. They not only saved a frightened little girl, but they showed me by their example, what love was. They gave me a good start...a foundation. Without a doubt, they were my first heart teachers.

It seems that I've always had a blind spot in regards to myself, therefore undervaluing qualities that were more important than the ones I had been putting on the offering plate. I've spent a lifetime trying to be that perfect little girl that my parents wanted me to be. I tried too hard to be be make others happy. It was a set-up for co-dependency and martyr-ism. But now a new door of truth has opened. I'm standing at the threshold....

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.
I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
Jane Austen


Sunday, January 25, 2015

A bruised heart

Sometimes the relationship with our mothers have been complex, especially when we were young. For some, there comes a time when it's crucial to take the arduous journey inward to heal a bruised heart. I felt disconnected from my mom as a child. Though mom did her best, nurturing wasn't her strength. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my first child that our relationship started to blossom. As an adult, I felt loved by my mom. As a child, I felt abandoned. I'm sure maturity had a lot do with opening up to her. I not only learned to accept her for who she was, but I really enjoyed her company.

Even though mom and I had reached a place where we had a good relationship, there came a time when it was crucial for my well-being, to go back and explore my childhood. I will tell you that healing my mother stuff was harder than my father wounds. I had to re-connect with the little girl in me who stilled longed for comfort and safety. I had buried that need very deeply. It took some digging. Initially I felt like I was betraying her for going to therapy and talking about her, though she never knew about it. In opening up this old hurt that I unknowingly still carried throughout my life, I was able to come full circle. I found peace, compassion, forgiveness and closure.

I've find that women who still have deep mother wounds are sometimes the hardest women to connect with. When a child's heart is broken, often the child puts a shield of protection around it. It's understandable! But in adulthood, the protection becomes a wall...a barrier that keeps others from getting too close. It blocks them from the experience of love. It's very important to heal this wound. We aren't meant to live as broken children. Love is the lesson we're all here to learn.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

A happy ending

You're the author of your life.
Is your story woven with of acts of kindness, courage, and faith? Or are your pages filled with fear, self-doubt, worry, and unworthiness? Suppose you could write a brand, new script. What would you choose? Would you be the hero in your story? Would you forgive everyone for everything that's ever happened? Would you forgive yourself for your own mistakes? Would you use your power to change the heart of the world? Would you become fearless? Would you strongly stand up for what you believe in, being humble and fierce at the same time? Would unconditional love be your greatest achievement? Would you throw away the tarnished mirror of your past? Would you be a warrior for your truth? Would you be willing to let go of shallow living and youthful arrogance? Would you meet life every day with open palms- letting it hand you what it wishes?

Each moment you are writing the script with your thoughts, beliefs and actions. This may be hard to wrap your mind around. But it's true none the less. Make good choices...

Friday, January 23, 2015

A stillness

Enter the place where only you can go.
A place of vision and wisdom.
A place where you feel your heart beat.
A place of solitude and peace. 
A place where God whispers to you.

“We don't realize that, somewhere within us all,
there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.”
Elizabeth Gilbert

“Spirituality is not to be learned... by running away from things...
we must learn an inner solitude...
We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.”
Meister Eckhart 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

A rich kind of love

You are a beautiful, beautiful soul.
Don't give up your worth for a belief
of being less than you are.
Don't seek approval at all costs.
Love yourself richly.