Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Fear of intimacy


To build intimacy in a relationship, you have to be authentic. This can be challenging if you're not comfortable with who you are. You may fear rejection. But in order to connect with others, you have to be genuine, vulnerable, honest, and open hearted...

Too often relationships are formed by people-pleasing. Co-dependency is the disease to please. It's rooted in unworthiness. The cure is to push through fear, learn how to love yourself, and share your heart with others..

*****

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Getting grounded


We can either listen to our gut and align ourselves with truth, or we can put our trust in our conditioned minds and make choices based on the experiences of our past and the beliefs we're taught (which are generally fear-based and sometimes self-sabatoging). Following our gut is the perfect path. Taking direction from the mind will have us swinging from limb to limb...

****

Monday, July 27, 2015

Beautiful possibilities

A homeless man taking an afternoon nap in the park...

We lie to ourselves because...
we're afraid truth will mean change...
and change will mean loss...
and loss will mean loneliness...
and loneliness will mean pain.


Pain is a feeling we try to avoid...
so we give our power to fear...

and live in a box called "prison".

Perhaps the real journey begins...
 when we free ourselves...
 of fear, pain, and loneliness..
by facing and healing our...
 deeply-seeded abandonment issues. 

And imagine that on the flip side of fear...
is a life more beautiful than...
 we've could have ever dreamt possible.

****

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Self-honesty


1. There are things in life that we know to be true.
2. There are things we feel uncertain about.
3. There are things we pretend are true, but aren't. 

1. Truth is the healthy tree that breathes new life.
2. Uncertainty is the tree trying to grow stronger roots.
3. Wishful thinking is a dead log that keeps us stuck...



Saturday, July 25, 2015

Embracing change



There are some big changes taking place in my life at the moment. They're the kind of changes that are sometimes confusing and frightening for me and probably others too, yet I know they are right...

Since I was young, I have been a rescuer. I felt scared, alone, and shy as a child. Looking back, I know the way I coped with my pain was to hide it, and focus on others. I was always the first one to reach out if someone was hurting. Trying to fix other people's pain was how I unknowingly and unsuccessfully tried to fix my own. Making people feel good became a big part of my identity...what made me feel good about me...

 I stopped fixing people (with the help of Alanon) some time ago, but the challenge I'm facing now is that there is still a young girl in me who is clinging to her old identity/her source of her worthiness... 

I have to keep working at prying fear's grip on me so I will stay true to myself...

The truth I've discovered is that I just want to teach. Making others happy is not the right fit anymore. Though I am frightened by this change, I know deep in my soul, it's healthy and good. What I feel passionate for, has nothing to do with my identity. It's a pure desire to teach something that I believe in with all my heart... the healing work... the work that turned my life into a miracle...

So I'm moving forward...

******


Friday, July 24, 2015

Growing our wings


Sometimes believing in yourself and the dreams you hold close to your heart, require you to pull every bit of strength you can from within. There will be times when you feel discouraged and think about giving up. It's important during those times to look at the alternative. Giving up means sliding back to where you were before. How would that feel? Hopefully horrible! Therefore, just continue to move forward. Remember that you must build your wings so strong that they can take you anywhere you want to go. You are in the process of doing that...

*****


Thursday, July 23, 2015

In the flow of things



It takes a great commitment to find one's true self. Last June I had a spiritual experience. In that experience, I met the person that I had the potential to be if I didn't make choices based on fear. In that beautiful experience I felt only joy, confidence, and excitement. I made some big decisions during that time because I had no fear of taking risks. It was amazing! After the experience, I saw there was a huge contrast between my authentic self and the fearful self. I've spent this past year working to align myself with the woman I met in the Vortex (the spiritual experience)...

Without a doubt, fear has had a clever grip on me all my life. I became who I thought people would accept. I put unrealistic expectations on myself so it forced me to become someone I wasn't. Initially, after the Vortex, I fell into a pool of shame. It took months to clean it out. But after it was cleaned out, a new rhythm took hold of my life... a rhythm I trust so much that I released all resistance and surrendered my will to it. I know without a doubt, the rhythm is God bringing me back to who I am...

I have a deep sense of peace and wellness today. I have my health back (which is a miracle in itself). I feel better physically than before I was diagnosed with FMS. I now see that living as an imposter robbed me more than just spiritually. It made me physically sick too. I don't know where life is taking me next, but what I do know is that each day the flow brings me closer to home...

God is always trying to re-direct us back to who we are. But fear causes resistance. You may be afraid that you will have to give up the things you are overly attached to (things you've used to falsely identity yourself). You may fear having to give up control. And you're right, you'll have to! What is God's role in your life if you're not willing to listen and take direction? Unless you surrender and step deeper into faith, you will continue to walk a path that isn't even yours...

*****